Q&A – 10th July 2010
Subtitle: Just for laughs!
So there I was wandering down the street when a rather attractive young Frenchwoman approached me and said, in French, “You are a friend of Bernard Hinault aren’t you?”
I shuffled my feet in embarrassment as I usually do and admitted that I indeed was.[1]
“Yes, I thought so monsieur,” she batted her baby-greens at me and continued, “I saw you two finishing together in the St Brieuc cyclosportife. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? I am a reporter for Sud-Ouest France, and I would like to learn about a foreigner’s take on cycle racing in France. Can you spare me a few minutes?”
I bet you’re really impressed that I could understand her so well and that my French is so fluent. And so it is – in my own mind at least.
She ushered me into a nearby Bar Tabac and offered me a drink as payment for my time. I ordered a Telenn Du, an excellent local brew and sat opposite her at a table outside in the sun. She ordered a vin rouge ordinaire, took out a Dictaphone, placed it on the table between us and began to record our interview.
Q: “When did you first meet the Great Man?”
A: “I thought this was going to be about amateur cycle racing in France,” I made to leave, “my friend Bernard is a very private man and I will not answer questions about his personal life. I am an open book, but this cannot continue.”
She raised her hands, palms towards me in a placatory gesture, and nodded, “I was simply looking for some background colour. I am very sorry monsieur; I will keep the questions about you and cycling, ça va?” She crossed her rather shapely legs, and exposed a little more thigh. I am not immune to the wiles of the fairer sex so I regained my seat and had another sip of the rich dark ale.[2]
Q: “Then do you mind telling me a little about yourself? For example, how old are you? How tall are you and what is your height and weight?”
A: “OK. We’re on safer ground here. I don’t mind talking about myself at all. I’m 53 years old, born in 1957. I clock in at a little less than 6ft 3inches and I currently weigh about 13 and a half stones.”
Q: She gave me a puzzled look.
A: “I’m sorry,” I smiled sheepishly, “I’m very old you see and I still work in Imperial measures. I mean to say that I’m 1.89m tall and weigh about 87 kgs.”
Q: “Oh. I see that is quite tall for a cyclist isn’t it?”
A: “Not nowadays, but I am certainly one of the tallest riders around.” I gave her what I considered a disarming smile and shrugged my shoulders in what I hoped was a Gallic manner. “There’s nothing I can do about my height, but being tall has its drawbacks.”
Q: “In what respects?”
A: I’m heavier than many cyclists out there, I carry a load more weight and that takes its toll on me when I’m hill climbing.”
Q: “But there aren’t many hills in Brittany are there?”
A: I shook my head patiently and sighed; I’d heard that comment before. “You’d be surprised. I grant you we’re not in the Alps or Pyrenees here, but you can still find a few stiff climbs and when the wind is blowing hard it can be really tough just pedalling along the flat.”
Q: “Right then, sorry about that. So, what bike do you ride?
A: “That’s more like it, something technical.” I was on safer ground here. “I race on a Bianchi ‘Coast-2-Coast’....
Frame: Alu-Hydro, Triple-butted 7000 Carbon-T
Forks: Alu-carbon K-VID
Wheels: Mavic AKSUMRACE Bladed spokes.
Groupset: Shimano 105
Gearset: Chain-rings 52/42 and a 11/24 sprocket set”
She looked at me a little blankly, and then asked.
Q: “How long have you had it?”
A: “I bought it in April 2008 out of some money I received after an accident in a shop. Since then I’ve ridden over 8,000 miles on it.” Again with the look, “Sorry, that’s 12,800 kms.”
Q: “That sounds like quite a lot of kilometers,” she asked moving on swiftly.
A: “Not really. For the first year my wife and I were still renovating our house, but we’ve pretty well completed the major building work and there’s just a little decorating and maintenance to do now. I really started training after a 12-year break in about September 2009. That’s when the mileage started creeping up; all through the winter, on my own.”
Q: “Do you want to talk about the accident in the shop?”
A: I smiled “I refer you to the answer I gave a few moments ago.” I know, I can be insufferable sometimes can’t I? (Only sometimes? Ed.)[3]
Q: “Is there an interesting story about why you didn’t cycle for over a decade?”
A: I smiled again, “You can be the judge of whether it is interesting or not but I suffered a training injury a few months after completing the Paris-Roubaix in 1997 and couldn’t exercise for a few months. Then I started University and my spare time just seemed to evaporate. I actually got out of the habit of training, put on a bit of weight and soon found that when I did try exercising, I was too fat and unfit to enjoy it. I was getting a bit older too, so the little aches and pains that you get became more and more difficult to shake off.”
Q: “Wow, now I’m really impressed monsieur, you rode in the Paris-Roubaix! Not many people can boast that accomplishment.”
A: “You can read about it in my blog if you wish,” I shrugged again and indicated that she should move on with the next question. It was nice being the centre of attention like this, but I was becoming a little embarrassed talking about myself to a complete stranger, pretty as she was.
Q: “What was the accident and what injury did you have?”
A: “I came off my bike during a Triathlon training ride and suffered a lower back and a partial rupture of my right hamstring. Pretty well knocked me off my stride I can tell you. The hamstring injury still gives me pain, especially in the winter cold and the back injury is OK but I have been diagnosed with osteo-arthritis. It was probably caused by the accident and general wear and tear. The discomfort is acceptable but I don’t expect it’ll ever improve.”
Q: “When you started cycling again were your goals?”
A: “I had two prime goals at this stage. Firstly, I simply wanted to improve my fitness levels and loose a bit of weight. Secondly, I wanted to get fit enough to join a local cycle club to become more involved in the social life of the region, and maybe to start racing.”
Q: “How did you get on?”
A: “First I set myself what I considered a stiff mileage target of cycling at least 1000 miles, sorry, that’s 1600 kms, between 1st January and 31st May this year.”
Q: “That’s an average of 80 kms a week throughout the winter. Did you make the target?”
A: “Yes, I exceeded it quite comfortably as it happens. I completed the 1600 kms by 12th March. You see, although the winter was long and cold with a few snaps of snow and ice, it was relatively dry and I was able to get out on the bike very regularly. In fact, by 31st May, I had actually completed over 4,300 kms.”
Q: “Well done, that’s really impressive.”
A: “Not really,” I responded bashfully, taking another glug of beer. I’d nearly finished my glass and gratefully accepted the refill she offered. “Compared to really serious riders that is a drop in the ocean, but it did give me the confidence to join Taupont Cyclisme.”
Q: “Why did you decide on Taupont Cyclisme?”
A: “Now this was a tough one. There are a number of really good clubs in the area and I was a little spoilt for choice.”
I thought about telling her that excellent Groucho Marx quote, you know the one “I wouldn’t want to join a club that would have me as a member,” but I thought that would be lost on a member of the French 4th estate, so I simply replied, “Taupont Cyclisme are a great club and were kind enough to allow me to join. They’ve been very welcoming and supportive and are really well organised with a team car that takes us to a d from races and a good sponsorship infrastructure.”
Q: “You said that one of your goals was to enter some cycle races this year. How did that go?”
A: “Well, in order to answer that question I’ll have to refer you to my blog where I publish reports about all my races. I’m sure your readers would be interested in learning how a complete novice gets on in your wonderfully well-organised cycling events......”
Q: “Briefly then monsieur, how many cycle races have you done so far?”
A: “Altogether, including a Randonée and a Pass’ Cyclisme, I’ve entered and completed five.”
Q: “In that case can you tell me the differences between racing in France and racing in England?”
A: “Unfortunately not. I have never entered a cycle race in England. I did a few time-trials and a load of triathlons and runs; you know Marathons and the like, but never an actual cycle race. And of course, Triathlons during the 80s and 90s were individual time-trial events with no drafting allowed on the cycle stage.”
Q: “Merci monsieur, can you give me your overall impressions of cycle races in France now that you have had some experience of them?”
A: “Briefly, they are superbly organised and professionally marshalled. The riders, at least at my level, which is middle-of-the-pack, are generally a friendly bunch. I particularly love the fact that you have stationary and roving marshals protecting the racers from other road users. Even in relatively small local races all the major junctions are marshalled and traffic is stopped when cyclists approach. Now that simply wouldn’t happen in the UK.”
Q: “Really, why not?”
A: “UK drivers wouldn’t stand for it. There’d be ructions.”
Q: “Ructions monsieur? Comment cela?”
A: “I mean there’d be a terrible fuss made, a controversy. Some drivers might even ignore the marshals and there would be accidents. I’m actually entered into the Wessex 100 in England in September and I’ll be in a much better position to compare race organisation between the two countries after that.
“Now I’m not saying French drivers are perfect by any means with their timidity and penchant for tailgating, but the vast majority of French drivers are respectful of cyclists. It’s your national sport after all. They are far more aware of cyclists than the average British driver who is aggressive and obnoxious, but that’s a different rant for a different place and time.....”
Q: “When and where are you racing next?”
A: “I have entered three more races this year, the Wessex 100 in England on 12th September, La Cyclo de Morbihan on 20th August, and finally La Benoit Vaugrenard on 18th September. After that it’s down to more serious training through the winter in preparation for next season when I hope to be a little better prepared and a little more competitive.”
Q: “Well now monsieur, the final question I have is why do you race?”
A: “Good question. What you mean is why do I bother racing when I’m obviously not very good at it and I’m really too old to improve?
Q: “I would not have but it quite that way, monsieur,” she responded somewhat coquettishly.
A: “Well, whereas most people train to improve their performance during competitions, I actually compete to give me a reason to train.
“You see I rather like to feel fit and training of itself can sometime be a little boring. So I spice up the training by entering the occasional race. This in turn encourages me to train. It’s as simple as that really. As I put it in the title of my first blog, “Someone has to finish last,” and I really don’t mind being the one who finishes last, on occasion. You believe me don’t you? It does spur on my training though.”
With that, I finished my beer and, somewhat reluctantly, took my leave of her.
Ends.
[1] This man is a liar! He’s not a friend of Bernard Hinault. Just because you spent a few minutes on a bike next to the Great Man doesn’t mean that you are his friend. I bet he doesn’t know you from Adam! (Ed.) *
*Ed? – Who are you kidding – as if this blog has an Editor!
[2] This is starting to sound like a blooming Mills & Boon novelette – can we continue with the interview please, Ed.)
I know, I know, there’s that fellow Ed again!
[3] OK, the joke has gone far enough, let’s forget the editorialising shall we?
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